you know, i'm tired of lying to myself and to her.
but what can i do. it'll make the situation go worst.

but i can't take it anymore. i'm boiling. hell yeah, im boiling real mad inside.
she has been irritating to me since like the first day of Term 1 and yet she had the guts to show me how more special she is than me to her. i feel like crushing her like me crushing a paper and throwing it to the bin.

just so you know, I HATE YOU. I HATE THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN ACTING AND TRYING TO STEAL SOMEONE AWAY FROM ME. I HATE TO SEE YOU. YOU ARE IRRITATING. I FEEL HURT AND MY HEART ACHED BADLY TO SEE YOU AND HER TOGETHER LIKE BFFS. IT KILLS ME. I HATE TO SEE YOU WITH HER. I FEEL HURT, BADLY HURT, WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER MORE AND IDK WHAT OTHER SHIT. YES, IT MAKES ME FEEL JEALOUS AND IT MAKES ME FEEL THAT I'M A NOBODY TO HER. HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME ?

okay maybe im wrong but this is how I FEEL NOW. AND FOREVER IT WILL BE UNTIL ONE DAY WHEN EITHER YOU OR ME OR HER STEP OUT OF THIS FRIENDSHIP. AND I ASSURE YOU I WILL BE THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD IF THAT HAPPENS. OH HOW I WISH I HAD NEVER CHOSE DAMAI AS MY 1ST CHOICE. HOW I WISH I HAD NEVER KNOWN YOU BEFORE. THINGS ARE BETTER BEFORE YOU CAME INTO THE PICTURE. I GUESS THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH YOU.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED. and IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU THINK IT'S YOU WELL THEN DON'T BOTHER TALKING TO ME EVER AGAIN. NOT ANYMORE. WE SHAN'T BE FRIENDS BUT ENEMIES. I WON'T AND NEVER WILL I TALK TO YOU AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

i need a shoulder to cry on. but i guess no one is willing to help for i know imma sucka.
a realsucker. i guess things haven't sound so good these days.
I JUST MISS HER. i want to talk to her. i want to laugh and cry with her like we always do in the past. I JUST WANT HER BACK OKAY.

no, im not okay. but i'll stay strong.