hello!

at last aqila, you've updated your blog. and as you were saying abt.."ppl even read my blog even though i havent updated it for more than 10 days"... of course we read your blog. what happened to you girl? sick? overseas? lazy to update? computer spoil? pc spoil? *sigh*

didnt go to the bbq today. wanted to go but..[??]

so okie, here's the explanation.

hazel sms'ed me yesterday, asking if im going for today's bbq. and i replied, im not so sure [#1]because of the bad weather[right now, it's dark]. and then 5 mins later, i sms'ed shazwani and zuhairah. zuhairah replied shes not going since I'm not going. and at that moment, i was like, "WHAT??WHY me must you follow???" and then hazel called me, she asked again if im going or not. and as usual, i said im not sure YET [#2]. and then li xuan called me saying that hazel asked her to ask me if im going or not. and i said im not so sure YET.[#3] and now, its the 3rd time i said these unbearable words, IM NOT SO SURE. and again, an hr later, shazwani replied shes not going since im not going. *screams**screams*

WHY? WHY? WHY?. am i a role model to you? AM I? am i your queen? am i your royalty? AM I? NO. i am not one of those persons ive typed. oh mum. you're so right. i REALLY AM THE MAIN "THING". now, i pitied hazel. she had organised all of the event and what's the contribution she gets? a few only? you're upsetting her. all of you malay girls of 6/1. everything must be ME. cant you all just listen to your own heart and not following ME?? dont you guys pity hazel? i guess NOT you clone horrific cohorts! lil' dumb timid elves. %$#@!^&*()

you GUYS HAVE NO HEART, HAVE NO FEELINGS. yeah you! the ones i mentioned earlier as the clone horrific cohorts. have no sense of appreciating your poor friend here, hazel. i shud have NOT told you im going or not. evrytime like dat. isnt it great to see hazel so upset abt today's bbq, IS IT? great ryte? just GREAT ryte to all of you. *screams*

im just gonna give you what i had in my mind abt it.

hazel's our friend. and she has done much to organise this bbq. and you guys just seat at one corner, day dreaming abt non-important stuffs. and later at the last minute, you guys said, NO to her? how *thoughtful* you guys r? no brains. no heart. no feelings. its like you guys a NOT HUMANS. its like you're just in some kind of a fairytale and all of you disappear in reality. more than a cold-blooded ANIMALS! assholes.

i guess you arent my friends.

like what my mum said and what i think it be.

best friends they come and go
depending on your highs and your lows
best friends decided not to be there when I needed them the most
I thought you'd be there for me
then why did u lie to me
USING ME TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.

oh its just so true. stupid assholes.