gosh! its unbelievable. i swear she doesnt appreciate me.

ouhhs. so now i know what's it like to be the middle child.

whoever say that "the middle child suffers a lot than the others", you ppl are RIGHT. yeah. becuz i am the middle child.

everything ive done is not appreciated. why? oh god damn. gaaahhh! nurul, i hate you!
i hate myself.

i stand no chance to explain the truth and worse still, i was being scolded and ignored and EVERYTHING a person does to his or her nemesis and that's ME. its not fair to live my life like this. im NOT a cold-blooded animal! im a human. and i have feelings too.

am i your servant? NO. im yours. and this is how you treat me? dont families treat each other well? loving each other. caring each other. but noo.

i am not what u think i am. i dont deserve any of these.

what i deserve was scoldings, punishments, cruel-ness, unfair-ness, unfortunate events beyond me.... its not that i dont love you. but i do really love you. because you're the one who brought me to earth, watching over me for all there years. and i do appreciate it.

but you never appreciate me for my doings. you know what? i guess you're right. i am a good-for-nothing person. the useless one in the family.

its fine with me.

go ahead and do whatever you want towards me. scold me? eat me? beat me? punish me? hate me? hurt me? I DONT CARE. let me just accept the fact that i do deserve those.

so unlucky to be the middle child.

i just go wandering ard the streets of this town to try and find sense of it all.

i wasted too much tears till the rain on my face covers the trace of it.

i have to put it to an end and let it go hurt me. its not that bad after all i swear.

okeyh. shut up nurul.